do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
