Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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