I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
