porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
two words: eviction party
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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