did you get engaged???
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
