I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Do vagina's smell?
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
