when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
