i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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