guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
