we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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