have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Randomize
