bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Randomize
