Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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