its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
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