Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
