I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Randomize
