If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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