Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Randomize
