I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
My life is pants optional.
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