i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
