Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize
