Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
