Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
