I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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