I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Randomize
