there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
