you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
