You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
he just fucked me for my cheese..
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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