i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
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Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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