He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
