U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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