IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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