I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy�
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Im part way to drunk.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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