Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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