we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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