I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
