My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
