i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
He has the fingertips of a God
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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