once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Randomize
