They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
