I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
