he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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