Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh�
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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