i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
