Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
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