My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
