If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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