This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
