We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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