omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
i believe in u and ur pee
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