okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
