I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
