I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
just found out that she named her cat after me.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
